install theme

laughparty:

if you ever feel unappreciated this Christmas i got my 17 year old brother the PS4 and he gave me a bag of pretzels

foxzes:

fakethistoyourgrave:

What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

do u mean excited

gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

stoneybarbie:

I’m a fan of blunts. 💕

666-slut:

IF UR READING THIS U LOOK VERY CUTE TODAY AND ALSO ILY

(Source: tuhree)

What You Crave vs What You Need

  • Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
  • Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
  • Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
  • Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
  • Cookies: Freudian psychology.
  • Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
  • Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
  • Ice: The sweet release of death.

interplanetaryconnections:

I want to be the first person to take a bong hit on the moon.

vagiants:

Me: *before I take my first bite*

Mom: is it good?

(Source: keyote)